a fine frenzy.

my train of thought.

i'm a simple creature of habit that craves adventure.
i'm in love with love and everything that comes with it.
sunshine, water, wildness, freedom and nakedness.
tangled bedsheets and stories from the heart.
photos of the people i love, paint and fresh canvases.

pureblyss:

And I wish I was a sailor so I could know just how to trust,
Maybe I could bring some grace back home to the dryland for all of us.

(Source: hibernas)

Drained.

That’s really the only word that comes to mind when describing how I’ve been feeling the last two to three weeks. Drained and overwhelmed.

There’s been a shift in our house and I’m starting to think its Abigail. Her 2nd birthday is quickly approaching and I think between a growth spurt and a new found level of sauciness and independence, she’s been seriously testing every opportunity she gets. Calling my bluff, pushing buttons, doing things she shouldn’t be and the worst part, hitting and acting out when she’s frustrated or upset.

I realize a lot if this is a lack of ability to communicate her emotions. And for an almost 2 year old age does phenomenal as it is with speaking - she can count to 5 for Christ’s sake! But she’s still little and she’s figuring it out but holy moly is she ever kicking my ass.

Parenting isn’t easy and it never will be easy but sometimes when a bout of not easy parts of parenting hit you they knock you completely onto your ass and make you question your own abilities and sanity. The constant feeling of being needed or the constant pestering me for my attention - between her and her father, it’s enough to make a mama feel spread thin and in such a fog it makes my head hurt. And it affects everything like a Domino effect on the rest of my life which consists if running my own business and trying to keep my house functioning and from exploding into disarray.

The last two weeks have been less than as productive as I would’ve liked and hoped for and in trying to get back on track with a happy family compromise.

As i lay here cuddling my daughter while she naps, instead of cleaning up my house or finishing my laundry. Fingers crossed for a better tomorrow 🙏